DILEMMA- IS IT WISE TO HOOK A FEMALE HOOKEE TO A GUY WHO STILL LIVES WITH PARENTS ?
To my female hookees , guys you can contribute too. Is it wise to hook a female hookee to a guy in his 30's who still lives with his parents? Would you date a guy still living with his parents?
Well it depends on the specifics. I know quite a number of guys who are doing very well but still live in their father's house. It could be that the guy in question is bidding time for something bigger. Someone on my friends list here was living with his parents up until the time he met his girl just between 2014 and early this year...they became engaged and now married. He was actually developing his own property the whole time and he moved in just before the wedding. But his girl believed in and dated him first before other things followed...
Basically, the key thing is to look at substance over form. Every time.
Stephanie Olisakwe thank you. It's not as if we're making excuses for some guys who wouldn't grow up, what we're saying is that it's not always the case. Truth is there are so many decent guys who still live with their parents in Nigeria. It's all part of both our cultural and economic realities here. But sadly, many of our girls are stuck at standstill because they keep looking for ready-made men (even when they can't measure up if bench-marked against similar standards).
Pls if the guy is from owerri and he's in imo state... Hell to the No, he's got no plans of moving out. Also big stuffs start from small(lil beginnings) ,i believe a young man who's doing well and still leaves with his parents is scared of responsibilities,not as regards to monetary aspects but living up to a grown man that he is.Unless he's jobless and haven't got anything going for him but has got lots of capabilities.
Chukwuma Ugo and Ijeoma Mekemam, if we apply it the way you guys have put it, then it means my friend in the instance I gave in my earlier comment would have lost his chances of being with this beautiful wife of his, even though he was in every sense of the word responsible.
My point is that we have to look at the specifics each time. We can't generalise like that. You know, sometimes guys have to do like 2 years or even more from starting a decent jobs just to save on rent in order to do something bigger and tangible a little later (eg further studies, fund a wedding and yes rent a decent apartment). And in many cases these guys do in fact assume the role of 'de facto' head of the family - I don't know how that doesn't count as taking responsibility. I actually know many guys who have passed through this phase and are all in stable homes of their own now. And so by your analysis, this type of guy doesn't deserve a shot at a meaningful relationship - just because "he's still in his father's house"? Let's be real na haba. This place no be jand o!
And Ijeoma, the owerri part really cracked me up. Lol
Uba you misunderstand me ur saying this cos these are people you know.and the part of being responsible is it makes most guys not to know What they they cos they stay in family house they don't grow up and face reality cos there is no responsibility his doing. by the time he decides to to family house he finds it difficulty to cope with pressures outside comfort zone that's what I mean.
Uba you misunderstand me ur saying this cos these are people you know.and the part of being responsible is it makes most guys not to know What they they cos they stay in family house they don't grow up and face reality cos there is no responsibility his doing. by the time he decides to to family house he finds it difficulty to cope with pressures outside comfort zone that's what I mean.
It comes back to what I said about looking at the specific case at hand and not generalise. There are lots of people who live in their parent's home but still shoulder way more responsibilities than so many guys that live on their own. I would argue that paying rent does not really tell much about being ready for marriage or other bigger responsibilities. FYI I also know so many guys who had to move out even when they were not really prepared just because they need "privacy" (and of course you know the type of "privacy" being referred to lolz).
Remember Chidinma's question was to ask if it would make sense to connect one of her 'hookees' with a guy who lives in his father's house. My point again is that there's got to be more things to consider than just that one criterion. What if the guy in question was like the guys I cited as example? Should they not be given a chance? What if they met other criteria as specified by the 'hookee' (this word just makes me laugh heheheh).
And girls who are waiting for already made hobby am so sorry cos that's a wrong cateria for settling down. there is nothing good like building with ur man by doing so you have ur respect and you won't be let down.
whatever works for you....people have been down that road and lost where others gained. so whether raw material, ready made or okriks, it all depends on ur needs.
Uba Nwogu, I understand u but then there should be an age range for such guys,chics in their late twenties or 30's might b so patient like the 2yrs tin according to u as regards to the above case, but then they might want to start up small with the guy no matter where if they see he's a hardworking n determined guy.
Practically true. Although with these life issues it's really difficult to treat it like a science. My dear things hard no be small, both for the chic and for the guy.
Haba mia'a Hakka well sha no sha buh wetin go make this knd guy dey him papa house at this age him no wen I live ma own papa house?? Anyways situations life challenges could cause that, wait oooh buh that same guy him no get Frnd wey him fit mange Wit for somtime before getting his place? Abi I knw mak sense pippl??
What's wrong with saving that token at his fathers house and investing it into his? Like he made a wise decision in doing.. Adighi eji akpata etufu aba ogalanya.. Shikena!
@chukwuma ugo, what's wrong with girls waiting for already made men? Like what if the already made guy is the one that is pursuing them, they should overlook it uhn?
You misunderstood the point. The question is what if the guy that is best for you is still in the making? No one says you should turn down an already made guy na haba. U don see who dem put honey for mouth wey go spit am out ? Lol
Well, pple am from owerri ooo,correct mgboto egbu but u see an average owerri man who grew up in the east and with their mentality hardly leaves his father's house,plus if possible he will still be eating mama thank u. So my dear sisters, if u jam any guy from owerri in his 30's and still in his father's house,use ur head and run, cos if u end up being their iyawo, they will only make one room ready for u both. Lol...Ndi Owerri ndewoooooo������
Already made, London made, American made, everything made is possible by God. U can still build with a man and when he's comfortable he will remember his village don't marry from ur village, or ur villages serve same god and can't marry, or ur dogs r of same parents and he can't marry u(lol).Relationship and marriage is all by the Grace of God, with some men, u can be the best gal with the loveliest of attitudes but he still want that random chic that his friends say is hot. And then some peeps r lucky too, they meet already made men and it clicks for them. All depends on the path ur destiny have chosen for u.
But come to think of it, why would or should a guy be in his father's house till 30yrs of age,odiegwu ooooooo and his parents no worry, for me is only a lazy man dat can do dat.i will neva advice a lady to have a relationship with such person, cos many of dose relationship do not last.
Am not saying that if what gave you is an already man or is coming ur way you shouldn't marry or give it a try but what am saying is making it ur mind set that if he is not made no marrige.or you now let down the average guys coming to you that means you go old for ur mama house.
Well it depends on the specifics. I know quite a number of guys who are doing very well but still live in their father's house. It could be that the guy in question is bidding time for something bigger. Someone on my friends list here was living with his parents up until the time he met his girl just between 2014 and early this year...they became engaged and now married. He was actually developing his own property the whole time and he moved in just before the wedding. But his girl believed in and dated him first before other things followed...
ReplyDeleteBasically, the key thing is to look at substance over form. Every time.
Uba Nwogu is totally right. There ain't naught wrong with that so long as there's a gud understanding and respect existent in d house. No probs at all
ReplyDeleteStephanie Olisakwe thank you. It's not as if we're making excuses for some guys who wouldn't grow up, what we're saying is that it's not always the case. Truth is there are so many decent guys who still live with their parents in Nigeria. It's all part of both our cultural and economic realities here. But sadly, many of our girls are stuck at standstill because they keep looking for ready-made men (even when they can't measure up if bench-marked against similar standards).
ReplyDeleteVery well said
ReplyDeletePls if the guy is from owerri and he's in imo state... Hell to the No, he's got no plans of moving out. Also big stuffs start from small(lil beginnings) ,i believe a young man who's doing well and still leaves with his parents is scared of responsibilities,not as regards to monetary aspects but living up to a grown man that he is.Unless he's jobless and haven't got anything going for him but has got lots of capabilities.
ReplyDeleteNo , no matter how small the place is .he should take responsibility
ReplyDeleteChukwuma Ugo and Ijeoma Mekemam, if we apply it the way you guys have put it, then it means my friend in the instance I gave in my earlier comment would have lost his chances of being with this beautiful wife of his, even though he was in every sense of the word responsible.
ReplyDeleteMy point is that we have to look at the specifics each time. We can't generalise like that. You know, sometimes guys have to do like 2 years or even more from starting a decent jobs just to save on rent in order to do something bigger and tangible a little later (eg further studies, fund a wedding and yes rent a decent apartment). And in many cases these guys do in fact assume the role of 'de facto' head of the family - I don't know how that doesn't count as taking responsibility. I actually know many guys who have passed through this phase and are all in stable homes of their own now. And so by your analysis, this type of guy doesn't deserve a shot at a meaningful relationship - just because "he's still in his father's house"? Let's be real na haba. This place no be jand o!
And Ijeoma, the owerri part really cracked me up. Lol
Uba you misunderstand me ur saying this cos these are people you know.and the part of being responsible is it makes most guys not to know What they they cos they stay in family house they don't grow up and face reality cos there is no responsibility his doing. by the time he decides to to family house he finds it difficulty to cope with pressures outside comfort zone that's what I mean.
ReplyDeleteUba you misunderstand me ur saying this cos these are people you know.and the part of being responsible is it makes most guys not to know What they they cos they stay in family house they don't grow up and face reality cos there is no responsibility his doing. by the time he decides to to family house he finds it difficulty to cope with pressures outside comfort zone that's what I mean.
ReplyDeleteIt comes back to what I said about looking at the specific case at hand and not generalise. There are lots of people who live in their parent's home but still shoulder way more responsibilities than so many guys that live on their own. I would argue that paying rent does not really tell much about being ready for marriage or other bigger responsibilities. FYI I also know so many guys who had to move out even when they were not really prepared just because they need "privacy" (and of course you know the type of "privacy" being referred to lolz).
ReplyDeleteRemember Chidinma's question was to ask if it would make sense to connect one of her 'hookees' with a guy who lives in his father's house. My point again is that there's got to be more things to consider than just that one criterion. What if the guy in question was like the guys I cited as example? Should they not be given a chance? What if they met other criteria as specified by the 'hookee' (this word just makes me laugh heheheh).
And girls who are waiting for already made hobby am so sorry cos that's a wrong cateria for settling down. there is nothing good like building with ur man by doing so you have ur respect and you won't be let down.
ReplyDeletewhatever works for you....people have been down that road and lost where others gained. so whether raw material, ready made or okriks, it all depends on ur needs.
ReplyDeleteUba Nwogu your point is valid
ReplyDeleteUba Nwogu, I understand u but then there should be an age range for such guys,chics in their late twenties or 30's might b so patient like the 2yrs tin according to u as regards to the above case, but then they might want to start up small with the guy no matter where if they see he's a hardworking n determined guy.
ReplyDeletePractically true. Although with these life issues it's really difficult to treat it like a science. My dear things hard no be small, both for the chic and for the guy.
ReplyDelete*might not, Lol, that's really true ooo. God go help us.
ReplyDeleteHaba mia'a Hakka well sha no sha buh wetin go make this knd guy dey him papa house at this age him no wen I live ma own papa house?? Anyways situations life challenges could cause that, wait oooh buh that same guy him no get Frnd wey him fit mange Wit for somtime before getting his place? Abi I knw mak sense pippl??
ReplyDeleteD guy fit get a flat for his papa house oo
ReplyDeleteWhat's wrong with saving that token at his fathers house and investing it into his? Like he made a wise decision in doing.. Adighi eji akpata etufu aba ogalanya.. Shikena!
ReplyDeleteGbam! Nna gi muru gi
ReplyDelete@chukwuma ugo, what's wrong with girls waiting for already made men? Like what if the already made guy is the one that is pursuing them, they should overlook it uhn?
ReplyDeleteYou misunderstood the point. The question is what if the guy that is best for you is still in the making? No one says you should turn down an already made guy na haba. U don see who dem put honey for mouth wey go spit am out ? Lol
ReplyDeleteIjeoma Mekemam Why the emphasis on Owerri people only? It got me laughing
ReplyDeleteMy dear I been wan talk am before o hahahaha
ReplyDeleteDunno y pippl always tlk bad abt owerri pippl
ReplyDeleteWell, pple am from owerri ooo,correct mgboto egbu but u see an average owerri man who grew up in the east and with their mentality hardly leaves his father's house,plus if possible he will still be eating mama thank u. So my dear sisters, if u jam any guy from owerri in his 30's and still in his father's house,use ur head and run, cos if u end up being their iyawo, they will only make one room ready for u both. Lol...Ndi Owerri ndewoooooo������
ReplyDeleteAlready made, London made, American made, everything made is possible by God. U can still build with a man and when he's comfortable he will remember his village don't marry from ur village, or ur villages serve same god and can't marry, or ur dogs r of same parents and he can't marry u(lol).Relationship and marriage is all by the Grace of God, with some men, u can be the best gal with the loveliest of attitudes but he still want that random chic that his friends say is hot. And then some peeps r lucky too, they meet already made men and it clicks for them. All depends on the path ur destiny have chosen for u.
ReplyDeleteI will Neva. For what? The guy must be responsible even if na one room self contain for face me I face u. Shoooo!!!
ReplyDeleteBut to b frank,Ijeoma Mekemam is very correct, is only an owerri man dat would like to stay in his father's house even at 50
ReplyDeleteBut come to think of it, why would or should a guy be in his father's house till 30yrs of age,odiegwu ooooooo and his parents no worry, for me is only a lazy man dat can do dat.i will neva advice a lady to have a relationship with such person, cos many of dose relationship do not last.
ReplyDeleteUzoma Ezeocha Norah
ReplyDeleteAm not saying that if what gave you is an already man or is coming ur way you shouldn't marry or give it a try but what am saying is making it ur mind set that if he is not made no marrige.or you now let down the average guys coming to you that means you go old for ur mama house.
ReplyDelete