While going about my usual Solo2hooked business, a hookheart reached out to me and commended my efforts on Solo2hooked. I was elated, since I knew she would not need my services as I saw her traditional wedding pictures in the past year. I was happy for her and felt she got a great catch (hubby was good looking). The next couple of hours into our discussion left me jaw dropped. She told me that the marriage had packed up. How? Shocked and perplexed I asked. In less than a year after traditional marriage, they split and bride price had been returned . I thought it was only celebrities who experienced this mostly.
She opened up to me as to what led to the marriage packing up and I felt nothing but pity for her and pray God gives her the grace to pass through this hard phase.
HER STORY
Her hubby always complained of lack of funds. After the traditional wedding, he couldn't even afford to get them a house to live in as he was the only son and lived with his sisters before marriage.
She had to cough out her own money to pay for rent. She approached him about proceeding for the White wedding since they had long completed marriage class and he was dragging his feet , but he claimed all he had was three hundred thousand Naira. My people, in this economy, can 300k fund a White wedding? The lady found herself contributing most to the upkeep of the home even as far as placing her mother in- law on salary as she took her as her own mother since her hubby complained of financial constraints.
LESSON ONE- AS A WOMAN BE EMPOWERED FINANCIALLY PURSUE DREAMS GOALS AND ACTIVITIES THAT CAN GENERATE INCOME. NEVER DEPEND TOTALLY ON A MAN
Her beloved husband began sharing details of their household with his sisters. Their quarrels, their disagreements, finance even their love making etc . This gave his sisters power to give their opinion and interfere in the marriage incessantly.
LESSON TWO- DO NOT LET FAMILY MEMBERS , FRIENDS ETC INTERFERE IN YOUR MARRIAGE. SOME INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR HOME SHOULD NOT BE SHARED
LESSON THREE- BEFORE SAYING I DO AND GETTING COMMITTED IN MARRIAGE LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP- MARRY SOMEONE WHO IS WILLING TO PROTECT AND FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU BOTH SHARE
SO I ASKED HER- What are the things you took for granted so that singles can learn and watch out?
LESSON FOUR- DEFINE LIMITS AND SET BOUNDARIES FOR FAMILY MEMBERS AND IN-LAWS
LESSON FIVE- DO NOT PERFORM ROLES THAT YOU CANNOT SUSTAIN IN THE RELATIONSHIP
Once you begin to perform those roles from the start, it may become your permanent responsibility.
FINALLY I ASKED- What traits in your ex fiancee didn't you see, you would advice single ladies to be aware of and avoid?
wow
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